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Hampshire Chess Association

Founded 1890

"For when the One Great Scorer comes

to mark against your name,

He writes not that you won or lost

But how you played the game."

by Grantland Rice

(early 20th century American sportswriter"

The Trite Stuff of Life: the Wrong Keys

Gillian Moore

   

Well everyone, I will share with you a funny happening whilst I was away on holiday. I was recently in Scarborough , Yorkshire here in England , for the purpose of competing in the British Chess Championships. Alongside the grandmasters, international masters and other very notables, there were others like me who have been notable at some time in the past (I'm a former ladies champ) and just plain chess enthusiasts. I played in one of the non-championship events.

Scarborough is a seaside town with all the usual attractions for holiday-makers, with everything from donkey rides on the sands for the children to cliff walks and views. Talking of which, one day I was in a dilemma faced with the descent of said cliffs. It happened to me as it does to many, that back in my hotel I needed to go and 'powder my nose'. My room on this occasion was not en-suite, so I went outside to the appropriate little room. I had my keys in my hand with which to get back into my bedroom, or so I thought.

To my horror, I discovered that the keys in my hand were not those of my hotel room but my home keys. I had locked myself out of my room! So, I went downstairs to ring for assistance. Alas the hotel proprietors and everybody else were out. It was getting near the time for me to trek to the Spa Complex at the base of those cliffs, for my next chess game. I rang and rang the bell and rang the phone from a guests call box; nothing! There I was in my normal clothes, thankfully, but no handbag with all the bits and pieces one carries around and which I would need (money, comb, pen, lipstick, roll-up umbrella, sunglasses etc) but I was wearing ~ wait for it ~ my bedroom slippers.

After waiting awhile in the lounge for return of the hotelier, to no avail, I decided that 'the play must go on'. So, I had to go to the tournament just as I was, no cardigan for if it turned chilly, no money for a cup of tea during the up to four hours of intensive mental work on a hot day, and I'd have to borrow a pen with which we have to record our chess moves on score sheets. But ah, the cliffs. The only way down to the tournament hall was via those cliffs, either using the cliff lift at 70 pence a go ~ but then I didn't have any money on me, did I ~ or down the masses and masses of winding, steep steps in my slippers!

I must say the views were superb and so was the exercise in those fairly sturdy slippers which, fortunately, did not slip. That old song comes to mind, 'She'll be coming down the mountain when she comes ... She'll be wearing silk pyjamas, wearing silk pyjamas, wearing silk pyjamas when she comes.'

Have a good laugh everyone at poor old Auntie Gillian with the wrong keys locked out of her room and with no one to help her.

Chess result? My best game of the tournament, for I beat the man who won it last year. He was graded well above me. The slippers had won the day!!

Gillian Moore

11 August 2004